Twilight Zuko
by Shiseki-Kimagura
Summary: A standalone story which is only full of injokes really. Zuko
1. Chapter 1

Zuko woke up immediately without the hazy fog that usually marked the transition from sleep to consciousness. He was alert and wary of his surroundings. Something in his gut told him that the day won't be enjoyable at all. A few moments later when, the world came into focus, he amended his situation; it was going to be a really bad day.

He was in the nude as was his usual attire and his fire lord crown was beside the nightstand. And that was as normal as everything went. Looking around further revealed that his chamber's decorations had somehow change. There was a heck of a lot more blue than he remembered and there were even a Water Tribe flag that encompassed one whole wall.

Standing up to his feet, he felt an unusual amount of fur. Expanding his vision, the whole floor was a wash of white pelts. It was like someone pushed Appa in there and shaved, Zuko though with a growing sense of alarm. Whoever's messing with him was doing a wonderful job of it.

Dressing quickly in a simple robe, since it was his off-day, he traversed the path from his chambers to the dining hall for breakfast and, hopefully, some answers. He could've called for servants, but he remembered they were to have a rest day as well. He wasn't an invalid and he always hated being waited on hand and foot. Now he was regretting at that decision as it would've given him someone to drag answers out of. Along his way, he noticed that there were more Water Tribe tapestries strewn about. It made him a bit more peeved. If this was a joke, then it wasn't funny. Not funny at all.

The doors to the dining hall came into view, he the first and only person he wanted to see today; his wife, Fire Lady Mai. Covering the rest of the way, he enveloped her in a hug which he immediately followed with a deer kiss. For a moment, she responded with the touches and drew herself deeper. It didn't last long, though, as she lightly placed her hands on his shoulders to push him away. At first he was confused, and looking at her attire confused him further. She was garbed in her old clothes from yesteryears; the black, maroon and red yukata that she wore when she was traveling with Azula. She also wore it whenever she wants to travel incognito. Does that mean we're going on a trip, he mused. His mind was working on overtime now. Things are not as they seem, and it appears that things were going to get stranger. He was shot out of his thought process when her wife addressed him, with a short cough and a formal greeting, both pals in the form of the standard fire nation salutation.

"Good morning," Mai began as she bent at the waist. "Fire Lord Zuko."

Wait, that's not right, Zuko screamed in his head. Panic was now gnawing at his nerves. She was supposed to say 'My Lord Husband'! And why was she being so formal?! What are they, strangers, to each other? He was about to barrage her with questions, but the dining hall doors opened and a blur of blue tackled him on the waist. It wasn't enough to topple him, though his ears were surely bleeding from the high-pitched squeal.

"Morning, honey! It's good to see you awake!" Katara gushed, acting younger than her age.

Behind her, Aang stepped out of the room. That wouldn't have been weird. What happened next was the thing that went past strange to downright crazy. Katara caught his lips in a mouth-crushing kiss that he was too stunned to resist. When they pulled apart, he caught Aang and Mai wrapped around each other in a gentle lip-lock.

His mind was blank as Katara dragged him into the dining hall, chattering on and on about something he wasn't paying attention to. Behind him, Aang and Mao followed. As the two closed the doors, one thought popped into the forefront of his frazzled: "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!"

--TBC--


	2. Chapter 2

"…and the vegetable stew are succulent, totally wonderful, Katara." Aang quipped as he politely wiped his mouth with a napkin. They were done eating breakfast and are engaging in small talk.

"Well, it's not completely my handiwork. I had help..." Katara replied with a smile.

"Really? Who should I heap my compliments to, then?" Aang asked.

"Oh, you know…" The waterbender pointed to the culprit who was seating beside the Avatar.

"Oh well I know just how to express them…" Aang leaned into Mai, who smiled appreciatively.

Zuko groaned for the umpteenth time to the show of affection. They were in the middle of breakfast and he just can't stand it. It appeared that his day was just going from bad to worse in record time.

"Aw would you look at those two…" Katara inched her seat closer and closer to Zuko's. "They're acting like a newly-married couple, aren't they?"

The Fire Lord's head snapped to look at her sharply. "Excuse me, what—"

"And they're just like us! Our love is strong, vibrant and will last for all eternity!" She squealed as she tackled him once more. He didn't even resist when Katara smacked her lips to his. He was too busy figuring out what's happening. Apparently, he was married to the Avatar's wife and his wife was the avatar's. And that can't be right. Furthermore, Katara was acting so strange, so…out of character. She wasn't cold or distant or even…reserved. She was more Ty Lee-ish than Ty Lee, herself which is saying something. And that's not right…

"THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!" He stood up suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at Mai and Aang. There was a tangible silence as the other three looked at him in confusion. Mai raised an eyebrow, Aang coughed uncomfortably and Katara wrapped her arms round his waist.

"What's not right, honey?" She asked.

Zuko flinched at the nickname and tried to break free from her grip, but a tight squeeze discouraged that. He decided to shout indignantly instead. "This! This whole thing! You're acting weird. Those two are acting weird, and I bet that whoever else I see today will act WEIRD. Now let go of me of so help me, I'll—"

"Oh! I know what's wrong with you!!" The waterbender hugged him tighter, causing him to cough and stop his actions. "You're just stressed about the Ball I'm throwing tonight."

Zuko could almost hear his brain screech to a halt at that. "A what?"

"A Ball, you silly. It's like a Banquet. It has food, dancing, and polite conversation." Katara gushed.

"And boring people who only came for the food." Aang piped up.

"And stuffy snobs who think attending social functions think it's some sort of political favor." Mai calmly put in.

The Fire Lord still can't wrap his mind around it, so he resorted to his last statement. "A what?"

"A Ball, honey. Don't lose sleep over it." Katara patted his shoulder empathically.

"I still don't see the difference between a Ball and a Banquet. I mean, it sounds like it's the same!" Zuko said.

"Well one's a Ball and one's a Banquet." Katara said brightly.

"I'm still not seeing the difference…"

"See, a Ball's a Ball and a Banquet's a Banquet."

"And that's all there is to know?"

"Ugh, I don't want to argue with you right now, I have to plan for this, okay? You want to help me write the 'Banquet' 100 times?" Katara offered.

"See?! Just admit that this whole thing is crazy!" Zuko screamed.

"Calm down, honey…don't worry about it. How bout you and Aang, uh…I dunno…run around the garden topless?" Katara asked offhandedly.

"Excuse me, what?!" The Fire Lord asked in a shocked tone.

"It was just a suggestion…" The waterbender mumbled.

"I have to get away from you people. You're all cracked in the head!" He quickly marched towards the door.

"And remember, Honey, wear something nice for the Ball tonight!" Katara called after him. A loud scream of frustration and a slam of the doors closing was his reply. The waterbender grinned at the other two on the table." So…what plans do you guys have tonight?" She asked in a conspiratorial manner.

----

Zuko was never more thankful for paperwork in all his life than in this moment. Now he understood why workaholics bury themselves in correspondences and letters. It helps them to avoid thinking about things that doesn't make sense. When he paused from his work concerning fiscal calculations, his thoughts wandered over o his predicament. Yesterday he was the Fire Lord and his wife was Mai and he lost consciousness with the world in one piece. He wakes up, finds himself switching wives with the Avatar and all he remember seems to be a lie. This was why he was thankful for the distractions given to him by figuring out the peace accord between the fire nation colonies and the earth kingdom. He was so lost in his work that the sudden opening of his office doors caught him by surprise.

"Honey!" Katara whined. "You were supposed to be done for the day!"

"What?" For a brief second, he mused that maybe he was saying 'what' too many times and it was the only thing left that made sense around him. And then the fog of confusion returned when a saccharine sweet voice explained that he was supposed to be in formal wear by now. He looked outside to find it was night-time.

"Now will you please move my wonderful behind from that chair and change?" Katara asked as she coaxed him out to his room.

"Your what?! How can my behind be yours?" Zuko asked, though he really did not want to know.

"Honey, love of my life, when we got married everything became shared. What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine." She said matter-of-factly. They were out in the corridor on his way to the fitting room.

"But…I don't even—"

"Ah, ah. Don't argue with someone who knows how to match coats to ties."

Zuko understood the tone of that voice. It meant that the decision is final, and your only reply should be, "Yes, dear…"

-----

The whole day was the strangest day in his whole life, Zuko thought. However what he was experiencing now was weirder than that. The Ball that Katara touted was totally different than a Banquet. The food was arranged differently, the music sounded differently and most of all was the clothing. The men wore too much coat and the women wore almost indecent dresses that hugged their figures and leaving little to the imagination.

"Hey Sparky, how's the leashed life treating ya?" Toph greeted. She was wearing some complicated skirt and top that heaped layers upon layers on her. He wondered how she could've moved in that.

"I, uh, I'm fine…" The Fire Lord sighed and accepted the weirdness his life became. Best to just roll with it. He shook hands with her and noticed the necklace wrapped around her neck. And the obvious bulge of her stomach. "Uh…Toph…when did happen?"

Toph grinned as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder." You're pulling my leg, aren't ya? I got hitched long ago. To Snoozles and Make-up Queen."

Zuko's eyes bugged out of his head at that. "B-but, that can't be—I mean, you three—I…what?"

"Wow, same reaction ya gave me when I dropped it on ya the first time. Total De Ja Vu, moment right here. Sugar Queen ain't lying when she told me to treat you with Kid Gloves." Toph sighed but the grin never left her face. "Me, Sokka and Suki all got married to each other. It was glorious. Tag teams during the honeymoon was so nice, I could recommend it to you. As for this…" She patted her stomach. "… this just happened not too long ago. Suki already got a name for hers, but I'm a little iffy with mine. How does Yue sound? Appropriate?"

"I…um…that's great, I guess…" Zuko scratched the back of his neck as he tried to find a way out of the uncomfortable conversation. Then he noticed someone who shouldn't be there. He excused himself from the grinning earthbender and made his way to the other side of the room. " AZULA!"

Azula turned to see who was calling her and smiled broadly. "Zuzu! So nice to see you well and look, you invited us over to your palace!" She said and added a giggle at the end. It sounded so foreign to Zuko that he visibly flinched and the vitriolic remarks he was set to unleash died at his throat. That's when he noticed Ty Lee wrapped around his sister like some sort of snake. " Oh wait, you have that 'I wanna burn you' look. Ooh..I haven't seen that in such a long time." She giggled again, this time joined by the Acrobat who was being too clingy to Azula. " If you're going to scold me from leaving my retirement island, I had Uncle's permission so don't fret…"

"She's right, Nephew." Iroh was wearing a very crisp suit that seemed to be pressed on his body. His portly framed accented the clothes rather than reflect it negatively. "I gave her permission to be here tonight. And look! This is called a tuxedo. It's very popular in the west. In fact I advised your wife on the decorations, all based in the Far West." He remarked.

Zuko's brain was being overloaded with too much information and weirdness and things that did not make sense. Add to the fact that the whole day was stressing him out. And he was close to snapping at anyone now. As if on cue, Katara came into his view, wearing a dress so elaborate it defied logic.

"Honey! I got you cherry pies! And they're…what's wrong? The waterbender asked worriedly.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Zuko screamed at the top of his lungs. All the partying ceased and everyone turned to look at him in confusion. "Somebody better start making sense in the next moment because I CANNOT handle this anymore. All day I've had to deal with crazy people talking crazy words that doesn't make a lick of logic. And today was supposed to be my rest day. THAT MEANS NOT MAKING MY HEAD HURT, FOR AGNI'S SAKE AND—WHAT?!" He stopped when he realized that everyone was grinning at him.

It was silent for a few moments then celebration broke out. "HAPPY JESTER'S DAY!!" They all cheered.

"What?" He was back to being lost. Aang stepped out of the crowd and grinned apologetically to him. " It was all an elaborate joke Mai set up. See, she had this wonderful idea of confusing and she got everyone she knows to get in on this charade. And trust, trying to hide this from you was very hard. But considering how it turned out, it was all alright." He moved to embrace his wife, Katara.

"Finally! I can stop being so overly peppy! It's exhausting. C'mere Aang. Give your Sugar Queen some sugar…"The waterbender exclaimed as she dragged Aang off outside.

"Is that any way to talk to our husband? If I'd known better, you LIKED being with Zuko." Aang quipped.

"As much as I loved having Beatle-Hog warts." She said sarcastically.

"Ha! Told ya Sparky would crack before the night's through. Now pay up!" Toph said with a small smirk.

"Oh man, I knew I shouldn't have done that…" Sokka grumbled. "Hey Suki, is it alright if we don't get to out tomorrow?"

"Not on your life, Snoozles! I had to share you with Toph, so you owe dinner and a foot rub! By the way why does she have to pretend to be pregnant?"

"It added to atmosphere! And I thought it looked cool." Sokka replied offhandedly as he stalked off to the buffet table.

"It warms my heart to see Zuko be a gentleman with his whole ordeal." Iroh said philosophically.

"Really? Because his big freak out at the end suggest otherwise. Still, pretending to be all nicey-nicey was worth it to see the fireworks. Plus I have something to hang over his head with." Azula Remarked Dryly. " By the way, nice work on coaching the waterbender. You really showed her how to act like an overeager air head. No offense."

"Thanks, it wasn't that hard to do. I just made her copy my manners and stuff." Ty Lee replied brightly. Then the rest of Azula's remark hit her. "Hey…I'm not—"

"Oh hush, Ty. You know I'm just teasing. Come on, let's make the most of my night out of my island. Want to tour the palace?" Azula offered with a light smirk.

"You know I do…" Ty Lee grinned and both went off to do just that.

Meanwhile, Zuko and Mai were locked in tight embrace and kissing. The Fire Lord was thankful that it was all just a joke. A cruel, elaborate and downright dirty joke, but a joke, nonetheless. He smiled and drew his wife closer. " I love you so much my darling wife, but I promise, on my honor…" He paused to kiss her deeply. "I will have my payback."

"I'm already quaking in my overly-complicated dress…" Mai remarked calmly, though the corners of her mouth was upturned slightly.

Zuko started laughing hysterically as they both left the festivities. He was glad that he can finally put this day behind him and that he won't let it happen to him again. Unfortunately, it became a yearly tradition to play tricks with the Fire Lord, though not as elaborate as the first one. Jester's Day was also now considered a Fire Nation-wide holiday not soon after. And everyone was happy with that.


End file.
